With wedding season upon us I thought I’d take the time to address this very common issue. When you ask someone how they are feeling in the run up to their wedding, “stressed” is probably one of the most common answers.
Popular culture often belittles the feelings of brides with unhelpful stereotypes but the truth is that getting married is on the top ten list of stressful life events, along with losing a loved one, moving house and changing jobs.
So why is it that brides (and grooms) get so stressed about their big day?
First of all, have you ever planned a dinner party, a weekend away or a holiday for more than one person? Then you know the pressure of trying to get it right for everyone. So, imagine planning a dinner party for around 100+ people! Some or all of them might need to travel and stay overnight at the venue or nearby. Some of them might have dietary requirements, mobility issues, children who need entertained and with the complexities of modern families, some guests may need to be seated at separate tables.
Then add to this the fact that you, as the person who is getting married, are entering in to a legal agreement with your partner. This is a huge step and life decision, not to be taken lightly. However much you love your partner and no matter how sure you are that marriage is the right thing for you, it is normal to have some thoughts like “what if…”
Also, (and this is a big one!) there is a very public element to the wedding ceremony itself, which most people are not used to. I mean, how often do you stand up in front of all your family and friends and speak about your innermost feelings for all to hear? How often do you walk into a room where everyone stops, stands up and watches you as you enter? Add to that the expectation for brides to glow and be the most stunningly beautiful they have ever been in their life… No pressure then!
As a wedding celebrant I often work with people who are overcome with stress about their big day. This makes me sad, as it is supposed to be one of the happiest days in your life. And of course it will be, if you let it.
So what can you do to reduce the stress and calm those wedding nerves? Here are some ideas that I use to help couples:
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